I Stand Here Ironing

The events of this story could and do occur today. Today, our economy almost requires families to provide two sources of income to support a family. Everything has increased in price accept wages. The mother of this story obviously loves her daughter. Page 283, "I nursed all the children, but with her, with all the fierce rigidity of first motherhood, I did like all the books then said." This mother had to struggle with working during the time of depression. She had to juggle working and leaving her child with somebody else to care for her during that time. She shows signs of extreme guilt that goes along with the extreme fast-pace of her life that was required to survive. On page 284, paragraph 5, "She was two. Old enough for nursery school they said, and I did not know then what I now now - the fatigue of the long day, and the lacerations of group life in the kinds of nurseries that are only parking places for children." This occurs now in our society every day. Parents are forced to leave their children with daycare. Some daycares being better than others. I personally found myself in this situation a few couple of years ago with my children. My children hated their daycare and I kept sending them because we needed the money and I couldn't find another daycare to take three children. Because my children hated their daycare so much, my husband and I decided to pull the purse strings tighter and I quit my job. The last day of daycare my daughter who was five months old at the time had an "accident". The daycare provided accidently dropped her. Her head started to swell that night and I had to take her to the emergency room. She was hospitalized for three days until the swelling was down and she seemed to be ok. We were lucky. There are many people in this same situation. The daughter in this story was neglected but not on purpose. The daughter was used to her situation and never complained. On page 288, paragraph 7 & 8, the reality of the situation torments the mother. The daughter really doesn't have much hope for her future and the mother believes it is her fault.

I Stand here Ironing

I believe the events that occurred in “I Stand here Ironing” could still occur today but wouldn’t be as bad. There are many young mothers still today, and it seems like the numbers keep increasing. Today I believe that the mothers of these young mothers help out more financially than in the 1930’s. Today there are also facilities that will pay for the baby’s food and formula such as WIC. Back in the 1930 they had no government programs to help young mothers make the best life for their young children. I believe our government has become more involved compared to the 1930’s.

" I Stand Here Ironing"

After reading " I stand Here Ironing" by Tillie Olsen I realize how life might seem like there are many changes and yet things can be the same. I feel that the events of the young mother and raising her child in poverty does still happen in today's times. Yes we have had many economical changes since the 1930's but there still is and might always be poverty in this country. There are many young mothers out there that do not have the education or means to raise their children without the poverty problem. There are many children out there that are left home alone either all day or all night just so their mothers can work to put food on the table. With girls today having children so young they have to struggle to make it. I do believe that there are better facilities and programs that you can bring your child for help either to watched or for health reasons then there was back in the 1930's.

I Stand Here Ironing

This story is disheartening on so many levels. I almost strikes a nerve with me. What I am about to post will give answer to both questions we were to choose from.
Things are not any different today than they were during this story's era. This single mom had to work to support her children that she was raising on her own. She had to send Emily away on more than one occasion just so she could make ends meet. She knew Emily didn't like some of the places she had to attend, but she was left with no other choice. We see this everyday, mothers raising their kids on their own. They sometimes have to take what they can get for daycare, most likely knowing that it's not the best situation for their child to be in. The story refers to daycares as merely parking places for children. (284) I couldn't have put it better myself. The sick part is that we pay money for that!
The central them in this story is motherhood. Mother tried her best to provide. She may have made some wrong decisions, which she only comes to realize a little too late. This theme is developed through Mother's recollection of events that lead to what we know as Emily. It is through mother's actions and decisions that Emily's development, both physically and mentally, is sacrificed. This poor child was delt a raw deal from birth. The husband leaves, and the mother is forced to go to work. Emily goes from place to place. She doesn't get the opportunity to grow with her mom. Instead, she is forced to grow on her own, the people who are caring for her don't love her.
I am a mother of two. My youngest is only six months old and I stay at home with him during the day and do school at night and online. Things are tight at times in our family but not for long. I choose to make that sacrifice because I refuse to pay somebody my hard earned dollars to put my baby in a high chair all day. As I stated initially, this story struck a nerve with me. The first person Emily had to stay with was a lady who didn't see her as the miracle her mother did. (284) It was downhill from there. I find it sickening as to how many children are mistreated in these pathetic daycares. When God created the family, I don't believe it was His intention to have the mother stay away and work full time so some other person can "raise" them. (You can't even call it that because how many daycares are there that actually raise your children as you would?)

I Stand Here Ironing

In "I Stand Here Ironing", the mother is young, nineteen, and left to raise her child alone. I think that is far more common in today's world. Granted, we are not in a depression (yet), but there are a large number of young mothers left to care for their children by themselves. The narrator loved Emily very much, but knew what she had to do in order to care for them both. When she talks about the harshness of the nursery schools, she says, "[A]nd I did not know then what I know now [...] [e]xcept that it would have made no difference if I had known” (284). She had to make a living for them, even though the circumstances were far from satisfactory. Being a mother means making sacrifices, and sacrifices she made.

The narrator was also stressed with the demands of raising a family and trying to work. Emily received the raw end of the deal. The narrator remembers a man telling her she needed to smile more at Emily. “It was only with the others […] and it was the face of joy, and not of care or tightness or worry I turned to them-too late for Emily” (285). She was constantly troubled with how she was going to get by she forgot to be loving and carefree around Emily. She says, “She was a child of anxious, not proud, love” (288).

Emily was forced to grow up too early. This is a trend that is becoming more and more common in children these days. She was left alone at nights. When she became ill, she did not look to her mother for comfort. In the story the narrator recalls, “I used to try and hold and love her after she came back, but her body would stay stiff, and after a while she’d push away” (286). Emily was only reacting to what she knew, or more so, what she didn’t know. She was moved around quite a bit as a child and then put in a convalescent home later. Her relationship with her mother was not the same as with the other children. The narrator admits in the story, “I was a young mother, a distracted mother. There were other children pushing up, demanding” (288).

Like many parents today, Emily’s mother feels she was not quite an adequate parent and wishes she could have done more for Emily.

"I Stand Here Ironing"

In “I Stand Here Ironing” by Tillie Olsen, the female narrator is faced with a hard life. Despite everything occurring around her, the same experiences she went through resonate with women of today. Many women and families are confronted with distractions, hardships, and difficult decisions.

For first time mothers I imagine it is a very overwhelming feeling to have someone else's life in their hands. The mother in the story tells of her attempt to be a good mother by saying, “I nursed all the children, but with her, with all the fierce rigidity of first motherhood, I did like the books then said” (283). Even in a hard time in her life, she tried to be a good mother. Mothers today, I'm sure, feel the same way toward their children. That is, no matter what they're going through, motherhood is their first priority. One strong element of this story is the neglect the narrator's first child, Emily, suffers. Emily's mother has a tough time finding work in a failing society so Emily has to stay with other people so she can look for work. She says, “...I had to leave her daytimes with the woman downstairs to whom she was no miracle at all, for I worked or looked for work...” (284). This situation is very common with mothers and families of today. Many children are at daycare more than they are with their parents since providing for the family becomes a major priority to parents.

Not only does Emily feel neglect through being separated from her mother because of her mother's working, but once her mother has more children she becomes even more withdrawn. Being the oldest of five children is hard for Emily. She feels neglected because her mother now has other kids to look after. Although she never got much of her mother's attention, now it is impossible to have it all because of her siblings. The mother tells how “there were other children pushing up, demanding” (288), explaining why she didn't always have time for Emily. I think this feeling occurs very often in today's families. Children always feel as though their parents never have enough time for them because of siblings. Emily as the oldest had to help her mother with chores and be like a second mommy to her siblings because her mom had so much going on.

Once Emily starts to grow, she feels different from others, like an outcast. At school she felt different because she was “thin and dark and foreign-looking at a time when every little girl was supposed to look or though she should look like a chubby blonde replica of Shirley Temple” (286). Emily struggled in school and was expected to do well, like the other children. Not only did Emily feel different at school, at home she felt outcast as well. Susan, the first child after Emily, was “...everything in appearance and manner Emily was not” (287). Susan was how children were 'supposed' to be. I strongly believe this situation happens in today's society simply because of kids wanting to be popular and perfect. With everyone trying to be the best, obviously someone is going to feel less than wonderful and end up being the outcast. Like some children today, “food sickened her, and I think much of life too” (286).

A change happens in Emily when she discovers she is funny and came make people laugh. She has “the convulsing and deadly clowning, the spell” (288). She goes on with her talent and shares it at schools and city and state events. It would be great for her to continue even further, “but without money or knowing how, what does one do?” (288). This situation is common in society now. With money ruling the world, it is hard to get anywhere without it. Having a gift is great, but without the means to make it continue, dreams shatter easily.

A lot of ups and downs occur in “I Stand Here Ironing.” Emily and her mother both fight their own battles, but I believe they both are able to overcome them. As the mother ages, she becomes wiser and realizes that she “was a young mother,...a distracted mother.” (288). Emily suffers the most of the children because she was the first and was left on her own to discover things in life. Many of the events Emily and her mother go through are events women, children, and families go through today.

The Applicability of "I Stand Here Ironing" to Today's Culture

“I Stand Here Ironing,” written by Tillie Olson, focuses on the grief that a mother feels for neglecting her daughter, Emily, during her years of childhood. Emily’s mother has little time to spend with Emily and relies on her to do adult chores, because she is working constantly. As with Emily’s mother, parents today struggle to spend enough time nurturing their children and tend to overwhelm them with responsibilities at too young of an age.

In the 1930’s, society expected a mother to stay at home with her children, while her husband worked to support the family. In Emily’s case, her father leaves and her mother is left struggling to solely support her family. For the first six years, Emily’s mother works and, if there is not work, is forced to send Emily to live somewhere else. She sees that her daughter’s face “…is closed and somber…” (285) and knows that Emily “…does not smile easily, let alone almost always as her brothers and sisters do” (285) because she “…was a child seldom smiled at” (288). Emily’s seemingly cold inability to show her emotions is the consequence of a childhood devoid of personal attention from her mother, a sad situation that many children face today.

In the twenty-first century, parents multitask, raising children while working full-time jobs and devoting themselves to other activities as well. Society does not expect a mother to spend her days at home doing housework and tending to her children. Both parents tend to work full-time jobs, which leaves children spending most of their days in an institution, such as the nursery school that Emily is in, that is “…only [a] parking [place] for children” (284) as Emily‘s mother feels. Yes, today our nurseries and daycares focus on the healthy mental and physical growth of children, but these children still lack the time for bonding with their parents.

Along with the lack of bonding, children are participating in activities, such as dance classes, piano lessons and second language tutoring sessions to give them the competitive edge they need to excel later in life. This shows how children today are being asked to do more and more; gaining responsibilities at a younger age. These present day children are forced to think about their future instead of enjoying their present childhood. Emily does not participate in the exact activities that children do now, but she is forced to take on other activities that burden her with responsibilities that pull her away from her childhood. Emily “…had to help be a mother, and housekeeper, and shopper” (287). These adult responsibilities strip her of her childish innocence and force her to act with adult independence at a young age.

Emily becomes a mature, independent person at a young age. She is unable to let others comfort her, scarred by the many years that her mother does not spend bonding with her or openly showing her love for Emily. Now, parents spend much of their time working at their job or on projects, instead of playing with their children. Away from their parents for most of the day, the children learn to find other sources of happiness, through unproductive activities such as playing video games, watching TV, or surfing the internet. “I Stand Here Ironing” shows that, like children from the 1930’s, the children of today need loving attention from their parents, as well as the freedom to be carefree, an exclusive childhood privilege. Without parent-and-child bonding and freedom, children will mature too fast, becoming somber and cold, as Emily does.

I Stand Here Ironing

I absolutely think these things could happen today. The variety of family situations and circumstances are as numerous as there are families. In other words each individual family has it’s own unique structure and family life. No two are the same. This leaves room for all kinds of possibilities. Unfortunately, because of poverty and single family units there is a great deal of these kind of struggles. The mother of this story speaks with so much love for her first born. (p. 283) “ She was a beautiful baby.” (p.284) “She blew shining bubbles of sound…She was a miracle to me….” This is, I will dare to say the way most mother’s feel toward their children no matter the circumstances. However, when life seems hard or dark, it is hard to see things in light as the story will go on to tell.
Times got hard indeed, so that the mother had to leave her with the neighbor whom she said “with the women downstairs…she was no miracle.” This passage referring to her baby, Emily. Later she had to leave her Emily with the father’s family. And yet later when she had her daughter again she had to leave her daughter in a place in which the teacher would say things to children like, “Why aren’t you outside, because Alvin hits you? That’s no reason, go out, scaredy.”(p.284) Emily would make excuses to stay home. I do not doubt for one second that there are many children who experience horrible day care situations today. Many things have changed, but while some change, many remain the same, or worsen. There are fine day cares now, but there are also many ragged. It is the poorest people and communities that suffer the most. That is how it has always been.
The mother considers that she may have not been exactly as she should have been. (p285) “…it was the face of joy, and not of care or tightness or worry I turned to them,-too late for Emily.” She is referring to her children born after Emily. However, it is the mothers consistency in describing her daughter in such a way that makes me feel that she truly loves her. (p.285) “Her face is closed and somber, but when she wants how fluid.” The mother like many mothers throughout time feels compelled to know her child, and wishes she could have done more for her.
Times continue to be hard. She sends her away a second time (p.285) and when Emily returns she has a new father. “…we left her alone nights, telling ourselves she was old enough.” “Can’t you go some other time, Mommy, like tomorrow?” she would say. I also do not doubt there are endless amounts of children being left unattended at a very young age. Emily later gets sick, and later goes off to a school at age 7. It is away from home again. She is not fond of this place either. (p.286) When talking of her friend from school she says, “They moved her to Rose Cottage…they don‘t like you to love anybody here.”
Emily seems to have a steady life of unfulfilling events. Yet in the end she finds a talent in being on stage and entertains people with her humor. The mother seems astounded that Emily has not only survived but actually seems a bit happy and bit prosperous. (p.288) One morning the mother receives a call from her daughter saying “Mother, I did it. I won, I won; they gave me first prize; they clapped and clapped and wouldn‘t let me go. (p.289) The mother’s final comment is, “…she is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless before the iron.” Although people may endure numerous hardships in a lifetime, there is the possibility they will still come out shining. I think this is the point of the story and this reflects the past, present, and future as this statement will always hold true for certain people.

Survival Themes

“The Yellow Wallpaper” and “A Good Man is Hard to Find”
Comparing the Nature of these Struggles
Both of the protagonists in these stories are strong female characters, and the antagonists of these stories are of the opposite gender. This is an obvious similarity. In “The Yellow Wallpaper” the protagonist is Grandma and in “A Good Man is Hard to Find” the protagonist is the narrator, a woman who has recently had a baby. I find many of the similarities of the struggle having to do with similarities in the protagonists themselves, similarities with the antagonists themselves, and similarities with the situations. Both of these women seem to let their thoughts get carried away and exhibit dreamlike delusions. In “A Good Man is Hard to Find” Grandma really shows her delusion when (p.358 paragraph 45) ‘Outside of Toombsboro she woke up and remembered an old plantation that she had visited in this neighborhood once when she was a young lady…She recalled exactly which road to turn off to get to it.’ She incorrectly remembered where this place really was and did not realize it. Then she lets her thoughts get carried away, intentionally saying “There was a secret panel in this house.” Later (p.359, paragraph 64) she realizes she is not in the place she had thought at all and has side tracked the family for nothing. ‘The thought was so embarrassing that she turned red in the face… her feet jumped …Pitty Sing, the cat sprang onto Baily’s shoulder.’ And this is how the accident occurred. She is in part to blame for the outcome of her destiny also, because of her getting carried away.
In “The Yellow Wallpaper” the narrator increasingly becomes more delusional.(p.368, paragrapgh 44) Firstly it seems not so bad, “But these nervous troubles are depressing.” Later she speaks of the wall paper (p. 374, paragraph 154) “I didn’t realize it for a long time…the thing that showed behind that dim sub pattern, but now I am quite sure it is a woman.” She seems to letting herself become manifested with this obsession with the wallpaper and although it is debatable she may be partly to blame for the outcome as I believe Grandma as I stated in the latter paragraph.
In “A Good Man is Hard to Find” the antagonist is mainly the “misfit,” but also her son Baily and his family. They seem to combat many things she has to say or ignore them completely. In a way they decide her fate.(p.354, paragraph 1) ‘She did not want to go to Florida… “Now Look here Baily, she said, “see here read this”…”Here this fellow that calls himself the Misfit is aloose from the Federal Pen and you read it. I wouldn’t take my children in any direction with a criminal like that…”.(paragraph 2) ‘Baily didn’t look up from his reading….’ The children of her son make smart comments also like (paragraph 7)”…She has to go everywhere we go.” Now if she had gotten to go to Tennessee like she had wished she would not have been shot by the Misfit, that is why I say they had some control of her fate also. Later it is The Misfit who takes complete control of her fate by giving her no other option but to die.
In “The Yellow Wallpaper” the antagonist is the narrator’s husband. He keeps refusing to see that the help he has offered her is not helping her! (page373, paragraph 137-140) After she has asked to go away from the house he says, “Why, how can I, dear? It is only three weeks more and then we will take a nice little trip…Really dear you are better.” She tries to explain, “Better in body perhaps-,” but the narrator continues, “he sat up straight and looked at me with such a stern reproachful look that I could not say another word.” Her husband also refers to her as “Little girl” and speaks as if she truly is a child. As in “A Good Man is Hard to Find” the male antagonist will not listen to the female protagonist. In both stories this aids in making the female protagonists outcomes more fatal or tragic because they are controlling their decisions by making their own thoughts seem irrelevant.