I Stand Here Ironing

If I was Emily in “I Stand Here Ironing” and I had to tell my mother my thoughts on my childhood it would probably go something like this. I would go over many questions in my mind. Why did you abandon me so many times? Why didn’t you give me more attention? Did you make my father go away? I would turn these and many other questions over and over in my mind only to come up with one conclusive answer to all of them. I could answer them myself and wouldn’t need to ask my mother any of them. I know that my father left us because he was a coward. I know that she needed to support us and during the Depression there weren’t enough jobs. I know why she left me with relatives. No, I don’t need to make her feel guilty because I know she did what she had to do. Neither of us can change the past and I need to look ahead to the future.

All I can do is say to my mother that I do love her. I love her despite my childhood. She is my only mother and my father. I can’t be angry at her any longer.