"I Stand Here Ironing"

I had a strong reaction to “I Stand Here Ironing.” As a new mom I am always thinking of how my actions will affect her and the messages she will receive from those actions. This is my fourth week of putting my daughter, Aviana, in daycare and I still feel guilty. I am always worried that she feels abandoned. I went from being a full time mom for a year to being a full time nursing student. I often have to study in the evenings and don’t get to spend the time I know we both need together. With that said, going to school in the long run will be a positive thing for all of us. These are my internal processes I go through every day but reading “I Stand Here Ironing” enhanced my feeling of guilt at first. I was terrified that this would be the story of my child and one day I would regret the decisions I am making today. I have to say that as I continue to process this story I can see many times in which I would have made a different choice or at least I hope I would have. Parenting is not easy and I think the mother in this story really did try to do her best. As she reflected herself, “My wisdom came to late (289).” A friend once said to me when explaining my feelings of guilt, “I would worry about your parenting if you were not worrying. The kids that don’t have parents that worry are the ones I worry about.” This helped me. Now I have to relax and trust that “I Stand Here Ironing” will not be my story.